Drunk driver hits two buildings, including liquor store

A 68-year-old Cranston man is facing charges of driving under the influence after he crashed into two buildings in the same parking lot on June 19. According to witnesses, the man was in the parking lot at a shopping plaza at around 2:30 p.m. when he drove through the bushes just outside a liquor store, then put it into reverse and drove across the parking lot, striking the front doors to a Chinese restaurant. After slamming into the restaurant, the man “Put the vehicle in drive and accelerated across the parking lot, slamming through the brick wall of the liquor store," said Cranston Police Major Robert W. Ryan.

If you've ever been to Spencer's Gifts, you'll already know that it is an eclectic shop where the line between teen and adult is often blurred. Nostalgia is peppered in amongst the downright lewd and raunchy, but if you stay to the front of the shop, you'll often find the more family-friendly apparel and accessories. Recently, gamer items have been spotted, including some shirts and belt buckles. However, seemingly exclusive to the shop are some flat bill caps: hats that are designed without the curve in the bill. Several Mario designs are available, including Mario, Wario, Bowser, Bullet Bill, Goomba, Dry Bones, and Donkey Kong. Also seen were Zelda, Sonic, and even Epic Mickey designs....

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Yeah, I probably should write about how great the Lakers were, and Kobe this and Kobe that, and blah, blah, blah. But, you know what? That game was a dud. A Snooze Fest. A bore to end all bores.

And, besides, B$lim has me on the record saying the Magic would win a thrilling series. So I gotta distract your attention, sort of like ole Dick and George with the Iraqs.

So to hell with basketball championships. I wanna talk about stuff that annoys me. Namely, those tools who refuse to bend the bills of their caps.

I know — I should live and let live. But still, I have a hard time with dorks. In fact, when I see a dude wearing a flat hat, I swear I want to knock it off his head, run away with it, and stomp the holy shit out of it.

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